杨杨

About me in Guang Zhou 1

2006-10-13T09:23:00.000+08:00

12 Oct 2006, 9.20pm Guang Zhou

Today went to work as normal around 8.30am to continue Victor’s assignment to us. After lunch wuth Wei Wen and Wang Mi and came back to office. Xiao Xuan msn to me that ask us whether want go out with her. Aiks, our company’s flower take initiative action to ask us out with her, I can’t find a reason to say no. She said that Wing, our another company’s flower will come with us too since she’s free by the way, she said. On the other hand, we seems bring a lot trouble to Alpha that his home equipment getting problem one by one, sigh…

Tomorrow Amy will bring us to buy SIM card, I was keep telling myself that I really can’t wait to make a call to my parent’s and her. I really miss them badly…

After work and dinner with Eugene, we went to supermarket to buy some daily things. On the way back, I saw a woman who carrying her baby sitting near roadside to ask for money, looking at her face I can see that she’s sad, disappointed and want to give up but yet hug her baby tightly. My heart felt so sour looking at her but yet I can’t do anything.

When we came out from train, we found a vending machine which selling snacks , the price looks nice and everything ok but when we look up for more, we saw that it also selling condom and tissue, aiks, China anything can sell in any place out of my expect…

Day 2 in Guang Zhou

2006-10-12T09:19:00.000+08:00

11 Oct 2006, 7:52pm, Guang Zhou

I woke up around 6.30am.

Looking at mirror, telling myself today is second day in Guang Zhou, though my emotion haven’t stable and settle down, but for the sake to my family and her, I’ll bear with it and lead a good happy life for this coming 4 months in Guang Zhou.

Today, Xiaoxian, my colleague, our company’s flower told me a lot about Guang Zhou and some jokes on msn, she is a funny and interesting girl, lol. Not only her, my another colleague Chuan Ming is a very friendly guy too, He tells me a lot of Guang Zhou’s geographic area and some interesting place of how to get there.

I’ve seen one of my colleague’s flash skill, she’s superb! She can draw out a very beautiful picture using electronic pen then make animation in flash just in short time. Amazing…

In the next 4 months, I believe I’ll explore out more about my company, my colleague’s skills and Guang Zhou so as I can learn from them.

Dad, mom, kor and her, I miss you all badly…

Miss Home

2006-10-11T09:11:00.000+08:00

10 Oct 2006, 9.34, Guang Zhou

Yesterday was the first day I work in Guang Zhou. First day then I made a mistake. I realize that my block has different style in using toilet that they do not throw used toilet paper together with shit but separately that cause the toilet jammed. Alpha looks abit…. And ask somebody to repair and paid RMB200. I felt guilty and I told him I’ll pay for the fee, but he said it’s ok… I’ll be more careful and will ask Alpha before using any equipment in future.

Victor giving us our first assignment, Eugene and me can’t reach our final agreement, hope the next day would have a bit progress in it.

Around 12.30pm, we went to have lunch with our colleague , Chuan Ming and Amy. They brought us to a restaurant nearby our company, hm.. I really can’t adapt the food here for the time being.

After 6pm, we went home. I gave a call to Singapore just to hear my mom and dad voice for a while. I was actually wanted to talk to my brother through msn but he never online in the morning as usual. Then I aware that he brought mom to hospital for acupunctural. Maybe I’ve neither heard mom’s voice nor see them fro week, my heart feel so warm when I heard her voice, even just a short 1 minute on phone. She told me that her sick is getting better and not to worry so much. She want me to take good care of myself and must “guai guai” there. My tears suddenly pour out but I force to stop it…as I don’t want she know my feeling…to worry about me…How I wish to tell her I really miss home, her dish, my dad, my brother…Before I hung up call, I ask mom to pass message to dad that must take good care of him not to work till too tired. But my mom want me to talk to dad directly. When I heard my dad’s voice, my emotion can’t really control but I still try to control it. He first time tell me to take care of myself as he never say those thing, Then I really can see that he really care for me to say in words…I really can’t make it but to tell him to hung up call immediately or else he’ll know… I stand quietly at balcony alone to…

Sorry dad, mom for I can’t be by your side to take care of you for 4 months, sorry brother for I can’t attend your wedding party as your younger brother. I choose to go overseas just to hope can find a better job to take care of you in future, I’m sorry…

First Week of Sweet Life in Hong Kong

2006-10-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

Before leaving off to Hong Kong, I didn't sleep overnight to talk to my brother and help him to do some video editing for his wedding party. I'm so sorry that I can't attend his wedding party as his younger brother... But i do send them my best bless for them, um! may you two happy forever.

We talk till 4.30PM then get ready to go to airport. My feeling was really nervous but excited as this is my first time take plane to go overseas. My family fetvh me to airport to see me off and meet Eugene.

Before boarding plane, we had several time check up on luggage by the officer at airport. The feeling was scary when the plane started to fly but after that, I feelng relax and looking outside the sky, wow, its amazing! Aiks, i felt abit dizzy after an hour but then I try to calm myself down for an hour....

About 10am+ we finally reach Hong Kong airport, as we wait for shutter bus to fetch us to airport once we step out from plane.

The first impression to reach Hong Kong is that the airport is really big and the frist cantonese i hear is "hun eng lei dou heung kong", Lucky i can speak cantonese as well phew~

We had another round of luggage check up and arrival checking for 30min. Before we went out the gate, i asked Eugene whether who is that will come fetch us to welcome us, um~~~ When we step out, I noticed a girl who in black shirt who talk on phone. My intuition tells me that it must be her who come fetch us, yea its her! Shes very nice and sweet to welcome us and talk in cantonese, she keep smilling that gave us a very good impression. :-D

She brought us all the way from airport to our hotel, on the way she keep introduce the places we going along.

After check in and put our luggage in our room, she waited for us at lobby to bring us to company to meet Carol who is one of our supervisor, her english really in US slang and i like it, she gave us a warm welcome to their company. At this time I felt really warm and it's my honour to join their company. She brought us to a restaurant to have tea break with Victor,Gilbert.

From the restaurant,I learnt the first lesson of Hong KOng culture, which there will ahve a gold spoon which is serve to get food to our plate but no using our spoon to get food.

After they setting us down to our seat in company, we had nothing to do for the first day, yet Carol is sitll very friendly to introduce us to all colleague and gave us orientation around the company.

We had a good sleep night for the first day as both of us really too tired and sleepy.

The next day morning, we were given our frist task assignment to work with Eugene and to present to Victor and Gilbert on Friday. After discussion with Eugene, we start to work on project from 5 Oct 1pm+ till 7pm to finish up a project. The project basically is to develop a E-Quiz system using jsp,servlet, database, XML and flash to do it. I'm in charge of background programming support to generate dynamic XML file for eugene to do his wokring on flash. It was quite nice team work.

During the presentation, each of us present our part of work to them. They were very satisfy and happy for our presentation and our project, Gilbert and Victor gave us comment and teach us how to use our skill to satify customer needs. A good lesson I learn from them. Sooner or later, our head of our department, Electronic Publishing, Mr Raymond get to know that we done a good job then come to us to congrats to us. We are so happy for that.

Erm... My colleage here are all so nice and everyday bring us to taste different food at different restaurent, the girls here even nicest to us, haha.

One of sweet girl show us her photo of Hong Kong she took and tell us alot of things about Hong Kong. I'm really impressed for their english really in US slang, yet still I prefer she speak cantonese, more sweet, lol

Today is Mid-Autumn Festival, I though Eugene and me would sleep in same room as celebration, But the sweet girl, Maggy take initiative to date us out tonight to ahve fun at Causeway Bay "Tong Lo Wan" to have "Bou Zai Mien", and "Bou Zai Fan" as this is Hong Kong famous local food. haha, Victor said he very jealous because got a prety and sweet girl date us out for outing, yay~

Overall, the people here treat us really nice and friendly and give us mooncake for us, so touched~~~

I miss home, I miss my mom, my dad, my brother. Sometime I even thhough someone call me then I though it was a call from my mom, but then it was just my imagination...Eugene said me I miss home too much le....

Happy Birthday

2006-05-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

I do not want and wish this day coming again but it still come to approach me this year. I hope not to remember the day and how important it to me because it's meaningless.I don't know when i can welcome this day happily totally.
I'm happy to have some good friend remember and send their greets to me. Today, first message from anan, Qizhi, peijin,meiyun, and ...... :-) Vivian :-)
I prefer their b'day greets to me rather than physical present, because it's more sincere from their heart, and this is the most precious present to me. I'm really thanks to you all.
Having a meal together with my best and close buddy in this day is the most happiest hours. Though we all in silent mode and did not epress our feeling, but having meal togeher nad tlaking together is the most happiest thing to me.Maybe getting aged, What I need is not physical thing but friendhsip and accompany bah.
We're now maintaining good friend relationship. This is the most thing i feel so happy in her. Hope this thursday she won't put me aeroplane :-D yes!

One of someone i respect the most had fallen in love

2006-05-16T19:13:00.000+08:00

I think i'm the last one know about this big thing. After last lesson he told me i then realize that he looks really fallen in love with her. Finally, and finally, i'm happy for him.
As for me...
I plan go oversea study once graduate after long consideration. But unfortunately, due to my financial, this looks not really possible. Last night, my though came out an idea, why not go to bank to ask if there's study loan for foreign student? It'd be great if they can grant to help me...
I want to see how big this world is, i want to see how tall is Bill Gates, i want to see how high is Bill Gates's IQ and EQ, i want to see how big is his company and his house, i have many thing havent do yet, i dont want leave with regret...
Will my dream comes true one day? will i be able to reach my goal at the age 35 or earlier?Will i be able to see them again? When will i forget the one who hold an important palce in my heart? I have many question havent solve yet, Please dont judge me i'm the end.
Times flies, times changed so fast, people aroud us keep changing, our environment keep changing too, will i be able to adapt all this changed? Even she is changed. What are the things that will never change which I can entrust?
Bear with it, 3 months to go...

My 9 years long hometown friend, my taget and ambition

2006-05-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

I was so happy that my best hometown buddy came to singapore to visit me, its such a race cahnce that we really have not meet for a long time yet our closeness always that close.
I went to JB to bring him to SG because he dont know how to come to Singapore. We meet at City Square in JB. When i look at him, he's became more fragile and looks tired and thinner than before. It makes me pain heart.... All his expenses, transportation fee are on mine. I bring him to KFC have dinner then go back my home. We had logn chat throughout the night, we talk alot of our past events as well as during our secondary school days, its a good and sweet memory in ech of us. But time flies and eave a scare on our face that amke us wont looking back anymore but encourage each toher to walk forward. He send an resume and intent go to Vietnam looking for job, I help him on job application through email though I did not really encourage him to go but ... i respect his decision.
We did the "same thing, same activity" as what we did in m'sia last night till 3pm, argh~~ sleepy. We sleep together as if we're going back our past time , a buch of my buddies came to my home have karaoke and all sleep together and play together. Thats my true friendship, my best hometown friend.
The next day, we play games at home and have chat. We went downstair jogging together, I told him that It's such a excited feeling that I dont feel tired even we've jogged for over an hours, maybe because no one accompany me jogging toegther before and today its my best friend accompany me jogging, I dont feel tired at all.
I cheerish our friendship very much because we never have fight before as he ahs a very godo temper, whenever i got angry, he'd laugh at me then i laugh him back, haha. It's trustness that we believe each other, have such of feeling that can be trusted. He's the one who can read my mind, what i am thinking of. We've not chat for years but he can still make it, from then i knew that no one can substitute his place in my mind.
His faily has some difficulty, I do want try my ebst to him him but... He found out I have many expesive thing like handphone PDA, laptop and so on. He ask me if these I'm in used now...I dont knwo hwo to answer him back. He told me must know hwo to save money and dont be materialistic people and follow style go, do what we should do now. I feel bad after listening his words.From that time onwards, I promised hima nd myself I want change myself and do what I should do now.
We've promised each toher if in future, we have chance and sum of money, we'll run business together in KL or somewhere. Except him, who else can i trust? With his hardworking, and my IT knowledge, I believe we'll become a perfect team!
I also promised myself that I want to be one of top and best programmer in Singapore at the age of 35 or earlier to fulfil my first ambition.Hence, I wont give up any chance from now on and won;t be lazy anymore.
Haha, my true friend want me slim down my body and keep nagging me before he going abck m'sia, and so i promised him i'll change.
I bring him to bugis station for bus interchange to JB, on thw way we walking to the station to see him off, a kind of feeling sad that he's going off so soon.This apart does not mean we'll part forever, because I know we'll meet again very soon...take care, my best friend.

My daughter and my friends

2006-05-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

Its amazing and felt happinese that I have a daughter. She so cute and I do feel so happy when i hug her.Her smile had melt my unhappy things behind me. Though she's been appearing in my dream for 2 times in one month, but I can feel that I'll have a daughter like her in future, as cute as her. No one can understand my feeling when my daughter calling me "daddy" and come to me...I seen my wife, but I can't remember her real face, everything is that real. If this is a wodnerful dream, i'd rather never want to wake up. Everything is nto important to me that I have my cute daughter and my loved wife.
One day, I rbing my daughter and my wife out for walking. I told my daughter my past and my ex.BY then, I meet my ex by chance outside, *i do not know why my ex is my maple good friend
Looking at her, we smile at each other. After we greet to each toher, i bring my daughter and wife continue walking.Everything as if a drama series that only happen in drama.Though i dont know if i'll have a daughter or not, but one thing I can sure to say that I'll be a good, responsible daddy and husband.

Back to my real life, so sad that one of my good female friend shooting at me. I really do have reason for not going. I do not know that she host the outing on the day that I really have lots of homework to do, and I can't finish it.When I know that my buddy ave meal separate with them then I think no mean going, anyway, it was raining heavily that time.
No one understand my feeling in my year 3 life. I really want to cry out under pressure. Suddenly many people are better than me especially in programming, i can't breath regularly, i can't found out the bright path as if i really lost.
I'm crying because I'll hardly to be with my buddies because if i really can't cope my study the time means I can't think of going out with friends. Getting good result is my first priority since my parents putting big bet on me and spend almost 30k on me just in 4 years.I can't let them down.
I'm crying because not much people talk to me in class, sitting alone quietly from morning till evening then going home, don't know what happen on the day like a corpse walking on street.
I'm trying my best to find my free time to be with my friends, my buddy, I'm really trying my best! I have nothing to say if my reason here can't satisfy your question.How am I going to face you during lecture?I treat you as one of my good friend and would coem to help you when you need help but only if you ask me.
Wc and stan asked me out go to arcade and pj also came. They felt bad ebcasue make me waiting and i'm nto coming for gaming. But in my heart, I do not mind because I finally have little time to relax down and happy with my buddy. My purpose going with them is not gaming but accompany them and talk with them.I do not want my distance with my buddy getting longer or ahve barrier between us.
Qi Zhi! read carefully!, I promised you to updated my blog lar! dont always blame me never update. Forgive me for i seldom writing my blog, I got to prepare for my next lesson because my lecturer want us to prepare before going their lecture else will shooting us. Thats all my latest update and my feeling. -End-

The first day of year 3 life

2006-04-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today is 17 of april, it's the first day of my year 3 life started onwards. First lesson started at 12pm, I was worried that i'll have no one to talk to but never did i expect i amde 2 friends today, his name is Richmond and Cyndy. Though the first day we nto really close, but i believe we'll be good classmate/friends in year 3.

I found out that Richmond is also a mapler then we started talk about maple story i lesson, its fun that i have topic to talk to him. On the other hand, Cyndi is a comic addictor, she can read comic quietly alone for 2 horus, amazing~ she also looks not bad oh!

Today i have ICT project management and real time enterprise. It just such stress and terrible that i've never touch the topic before and the real time module talk more in-depth on web server adn web services, which i've never heard before, i became stress and all concentrate listening on lesson till 6pm.

After 6pm, me and richmond go to bookshop buy lecture notes and walk off separately. I meet stan, wc, pj, angela, lc, qz at atrium and go to amk s11 having dinnner together. It's a nice and funny meal, maybe we've been one months never sitting togeher having meal together, futhermore, we'll have less chance can sitting together laugh together.

One of my buddy upset, i dont know how to console him but try to accompany him and sitting with him to give him support because i can understand his feeling as i faced this before.

I hope my year 3 life can be easier and getting along very well with my new classmate. Undeniable that year 3 study life will be more stressful than before and enw challenge, i'm prepared to face it. Yes!

Someone who i am thinking of

2006-03-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

Sitting on chair and glue to computer in my room at 12am. It's a feeling of lonely surfind and writting blog.I'm really tired of living under single life, but what can i do?
I've survived on earth for 23 earth.Apart from my family. There's two person who's always on my mind.It's my past and another is my buddy.
My friend/classmates always want me to forget my past and let bygone be bygone.It's not easy to forget someone totally from my mind, I admit she's my past for 2 years. But sometimes when i think of it,I'd regret and sad because it me myself who destroy it, she left me with anther guy in the end...At that time, without her, my life is meaningless.Today, i can only pray for her to have a happinese love with someone else in deep of my mind.Though you're my past, our history but our story,i'll always bear in mind as a lesson that i'll never ever repeat.Thanks and sorry...
Today,I falled for another girl, we have fate to know each other but we're not destined to be together, maybe we've different perspective in our life and pathway.She reject me after telling me her reason. I accept it. I'll always pray for her. Times flies, we've known each other for years that we have a stable friendship though not relationship in love. I'm elated enough to have a good female friend. Sometimes, waiting for her may be inappropriate at the time, we may meet right person while we're progressing in our study. Let everything handle to heaven to decide. Undeniable, I'm willing take care of her all my life no matter what REASON even if she understand what i say and if our story can be continue.Maybe this is just a dream.
We'll be hardly meet each other from now on cause of something. This maybe called life cycle that we'll meeting different people around us for us to learn from them and prepare for the net challenge. I just have a small wish that I don't want to go alone, I wish to have someone go on with me, who is she? where is she..
First week of school holiday just past, I wonder what am i doing last week. I'm doing nothing but mapling all week that cause my eye hurt and unfeeling well. I shall stop it and start my own thing at the right time.
God, i don't ask too much. I just don't want to be alone all the way, please...

Mr Lonely and Holiday

2006-03-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

Though i can relax and have no stress in school holiday but i still hate school holiday of being too relax, nothing to do, free and lonely, if i lonely, i'll think alto of things, thnk of what i done in my last semester, my friends, my class, and my past... everytime during school holiday, things happen the same on me. I hate it

Yea, as usual what i'm doing during school holiday. Playing maple and look for reference online, doing research and watch movie/drama at home. Without E8 by my side, my yr3 life should be bore bah and less funny/jokes from them, but will our distance hence getting far? or our close relationship will be... I believe eevrything is predestined, what will be will be, but fate is on our hand, want to pursue or not up to us.

Departing may be one of experience we ahve to elarn of in our life, we'd expected the day would coming since the first day we come into E8, as long as we once treasure each other. Do not be too upset, we must be strong to carry on our life in future.

I'm getting 23 this year yet i'm still single. I'm living enought of single life, i wish to have someone can beside me to love/be loved to the rest of my life. I'm awaiting for her coming to me...If she's coming, I promised i'll treasure her much and care for her/protect her to have a feeling of happiness to her.

Next semester in yr3 will be my last chance study in nyp, I promise i'll study hard and will nto repeat the same mistake again. Let's rock together, E8.

Relax and Happy

2006-03-01T19:17:00.000+08:00

Today we e8 stand together to sat fro the last paper, network exam. I believe all of us performed well and did our best. But with hard work, we'll have fruitful result in the end, I hope i'm one of them...
After exam and had lunch with my class at north canteen, and this time quite significance of sitting together having meal with class e8 as this is our last time sittting together as e8 member. I'l have 1 1/2 months holiday as my mom insist me go to work with my dad, sigh, can't have a confort holiday le..But i promised myself that I'll boost my programming skill to final stage in order to prepare for my year 3 programming modules if ...
I finally met my ITE friend in my school, we had about 1 year plus never meet, it's quite joyful. We went to bishan shopping together. I bought a radio for my grandma as respectful to her. After that We went to delifrance had drinks and we talked alot of our past in ITE school life, though it's been 2 year past but we do still remember in mind.
When i reached home, I gave my grandma a big surprise of her favourite radio!, haha, she looks happy that melts my heart to seeing her happy.She will be going back next week,but I'll try spend more time to accompany her.

My School Life on my blog from now onwards

2006-02-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'll be hardly together with my calss again in the next enw semester onwards, hence I'll always update my blog always during my school days in order to keep update with them.
I'm going to have 1 1/2 mth for my school holiday coming. I think I'll stay at home most of time to enhance my programming skill especially in my advance java, internet progamming, database and Linux system and it's programming. I'm going to face to face with programming expert in my next semester, I'm well prepared to face with them and challenge myself to boost my skill to reach expert of the expert stage.
It's coming to year 3 in NYP soon, yet I'm still alone, single. I'm living enof of single life, I wish to have someone beside me who we can share happinese to each other and walk together to the rest of our life.I wasnt to change my image in this school holiday to ahve a new fresh of myself to face new challenge. Relationship can't be force to occupy but I'm willing to wait for her coming to me as time goes by.

Comments on Someone

2006-02-24T22:03:00.000+08:00

E8 though has come to an end, but i believe our spirit that will tie us together, though we'll separate to persue our dreams for each own future but our heartbeats are always the same, we can always feel to each other's existence.
During past 2 years, I've been getting along with my classmate quite well especially someone, somebody. But there's 2 person who I can getting along with them, one of them is his attitude towards our e8 as he was once our e8, he's been eliminated in the end.
Another one is someone who seldom study/practice in her lab instead always play msn with her online guy or doing her blog but in the end using her cute face to act innocent/weak to beg for someone done for her.If she can't make it, she will cry to beg for them and in the end she made it.Such a person who never pay effort in her study/project will never succeed in anything but always rely on someone to achieve her goal and such person is not worth for us give them help. Such a pathetic person, I hope she will change her attitude too.
I'll always remember one time how she treat me, untrustful. She came to ask me for something and i guide/teach her correct way to get the correct answer but she don't believe me and then ask other to confirm again and in the end, the answer i teach her is correct, this make me digusting towards her because since she don't trust me then please dont come / approach to me, that will insult my knowledge and WASTE MY TIME to teacher such person.PLease dont defend yourself that you want to confirm your answer, if you really dont trust someone's knowledge, dont go approach them, this only make them dislike you.I began dislike this people not affect by someone else but I notice myself of her attitude. I dont think she can do anything on her own in future but will only all rely on her Mr Right. May god bless her...
On the other hand, I'd rather help those who seldom pay attention on lesson but they willing to learn, they're worth to help because I knwo that they're keen to learn and they will learn something in the end.
This semester, I'm so glad that someone has really changed, Anan. I find she insist trying to do well in her study/project on her own. She made it finally, i'm so glad to see that she learnt to be independent. I believe that she really learn enw thing in NYP as compare with someone who always begging for help in the end and never pay effort in their study/projects.

Untitled

2006-01-10T21:37:00.000+08:00

Have not been write blog for times after commontest period. I did not did well in my common test especially maths.
Today is tuesday, I sat for network technology common test yesterday and went back after common test, nothing special happen. After reach home, my mom received a call from dad that he want me go to work with him tomorrow. I'm actually wanted to attend Lay Xuan's birthday party but too bad. For here, I send my bless to Lay Xuan that may she happy always, "Hapyp Birthday, Lay Xuan. Hope you really ejoy for the chalet today with them".
This morning I woke up at 7am and getting ready to go to work with my dad. After reach my dad's office around 8.30am, I feed the fish as usual everytime I go there. I notice that the two dragon fish behave weird today and so I notice at them. Ah! the male took food and feed the female dragon fish by mouth! they fall in love! the female dragon fish follow him. What a lovely couple. Few months ago during school holiday, It was my first time working with my dad. The first time I came, the two fish didn't go closely and then my dad's worker told me that the two dragon fish had been living here for two years and can be say that though not real "brother and sister" but as close as real kin.
After a while, started to work. Until lunch time after meal, I went back and feed the fish again. Out of my expectation that the female fish lay down close to the male body, what a touch and sweet moment while I looking at them, I can concolde that they really fall in love. I'm so happy to see that and I wodner if they will hold a wedding party? WOuld they invite me? haha.
I reach home by 8pm. What a tired day after work. At this hour, I'm sure whay chuin, stanlie and others do really enjoy at the Lay Xuan birthday's chalet. Hope they enjoy it.

Motherly Love

2005-12-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

This is a true story which I watch from channel 8...

There was a lovely couple and married for over 10 years. They have not been a child over the years and her husband been treat her not good all the day. At her age 40, he left him without words and she never ask him to stay back to take care of her. She's beginning starting her lonely life. One day, she found out that she's pregnant, she's overjoyed but doctor told her it's good not to bear a child at this age because it's dangerous for her life. The madam insist want to bear the child to bring him to the world.

The madam lead a very tough life as the home has no man to take care of. She has to take part time job for the family and preparation for the baby arrival. She's been lonely for 9 months...

At the first sight the madam see his child borned and look at him, her tears drop down as I can see that what she did is worth for the baby arival. From the day onwards, she don't feel lonely and all her spirit and hope put on her child, Rui Ming.Rui Ming has become her life support and the reason to carry on her life. Though they are poor, but they are more happier than anyone around the world. She gave her child love and care, motherly love.

One night, Rui Ming unfeeling well suddenly and keep mumbling at his mom, his mom touch his forehed and very heat, at first she though Rui Ming had fever and want vomit, she was shocked that Rui Ming vomit blood, she quickly bring Rui Ming to hospital.After doctor analize on him, the doctor conclude that Rui Ming has contradicted cancer that cause him vomit blood. Both of them very sad.

One night, his mom carry him to bed to sleep. Rui Ming ask his mom a question, "Where will people go once die, mom? " Mom todl him that there will be a beautiful fairy come to take the person to a beautiful heaven. Rui Ming ask,"If I gone b4fore you, would..." His mom said" stop! without my permission, you're not allowed to go before me." Rui Ming quiet but happy because he fell that his mom love him alot.

Rui Ming been in and out hospital at least 5 times monthly and his condition getting worse and the expenses...His mom getting worried and now she's holding two job everyday. She work in a restaurant to wash plate and work in coffee shop at night. All her expense has spent on his medical fee, house expenses and school fee. Busy life make her look fragile and grow old but she never regret, all she want is can try to let his son carry on his life.

At the age of 12, Rui Ming go to hospital again. This time, his sick has reach terminal stage. The doctor told her to be prepare, she cried and beg doctor to save her son but everything has predestined.

Rui Ming suffer miserably on patient bed with oxigen provided. Her mom bring his favourite door to give him support. In her heart, she is frustrated and no one beside him, helpless...what she can do is accompany him through the night. The day was 23 December.

The next morning, Rui Ming vomit blood again, her mom cried helpless and doctor ask her mom to let him go peacefully and get rid of the painful. She never give up and keep accompany him beside and prayf or god to let him wake up, but... Rui Ming is in unconcious condition but her mom know he can listen what she said. "Rui Ming, wake up, wake up! Mummy need you, you are my lfie support, please get up...." Rui Ming can't do anything and tears drop out for his mom.

At the moment, she decided on something. She can't bear but she has to because of her love. She take out the oxygen equipment and said " Rui Ming, I know you're suffering now, bear it on, there will be a beautiful fairy come tot ake you to a place and left painful to torture you." Her mom tears keep dropping out. "Rui Ming..."

She decided donate his son's organ to people. The doctor gratitude and appreciate for her decision.

On the night, she sleep in his son room sadly. By the time she pack up his son stuff, he foud out there's something inside his son school bag. It's a christmas card specially dedicated to his mom. She hug his son's bag cried whole night. The card wrote a big words, "Thank You, Mummy. I know you've been suffer over the years for me, thank you very much for your love and happy to me, I'm very happy to be your son." His mom cried sadly....and keep repeat his son name "Rui Ming.....Rui Ming....."

Few months later, she receive a greet card from someone, it's a appreciation and thank you card. It's the person who receive Rui Ming's organ. The patient had cancer but recover after receive Rui Ming;s organ. Their whole family gratitude to her right from bottom of their heart. But from the day of the patient receive Rui Ming's organa and heart, the patient keep thinking of Rui Ming's mom and seems to have some memory on her...

Today is Saturday, 31 December 2005. The last day of year 2005. I wrote this article sadly and realize the noble of motherly love. Thus, I'd like to dedicate to all mothers around the world for their sacrifice on their children without any return, thank you.

Noted 31 December 2005, 11pm

Friendship

2005-12-28T03:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I ask myself if I can buy friendship in order to have friends around me. But in fact, friendship is priceless. NO refundable or returnable.
People said it's enough and to be elated if you have some close friend/buddy.But today I find that I actually don't have some close friend/buddy but 'a little'. I though one of my friend regard me as her/his close friend/buddy but it didn't turn out of my expectation. Maybe we have no stable friendship and I misunderstanding.
Eventhough of that, I've straighten and enlighten of it. I shouldn't jump into conclusion before final decision because I find that some of friend, though they regard me as their friend but they don't trust me at all.I shouldn't have imagination on someone and write a story in my world because all are transient thing/story.
One thing I'm sure that no matter some of my buddy whether they regard me as their buddy or not or trust me, I'll regard them as my truely buddy and brother always because they would help me and accompany me or talk to me when I'm sad or happy. We once talk about relationship and encourage each other; when someone turn my buddy down, my buddy would tell me, I'd console and encourage him. This is called truely friendship and never as for any return. No matter what happen in future, I'll always stand together with my buddy, but who are they?... It's ok that I know myself...

A little boy and the balloon

2005-12-28T03:01:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there's a little poor boy with dark skin color who live in a city. His family broken since he was born because his dad has an affair outside. After his dad left him and his mom, he's been with mom and lead a tough life. The boy, who lived...

He has no friend and no one willing play with him. Every children tease at him becasue he has no dad and poor and he's dark skin color while other kids are in fair skin. He feels inferior and he's a low-self esteem boy. I can understand how he feel.

One day, he say beside and looking at other kids playing with balloon. In his heart, how he wish to have a balloon to play but he has no money to buy one. What he can do is sitting aside and look at other kids playing. There's an old man who making and selling balloon. The boy tried go to old man and talk to him. The boy dare not look at old manbut head down and ask embarrassly, "Uncle, I don;t have money but can I have a balloon? I'm willing working for you to pay you back" The old man thinking of the boy and smile at the boy, "my boy, you can have a balloon from me for free, here you choose which color you like". The boy smile at uncle. The boy look at all balloons to choose. Out of the old man expectation, the boy chosed a black balloon. The old man feel curious why he chosed a black color. After the old man think of it, he then found out that he's inferior for his dark skin color and his family background.

The old man touch the boy's head and smiled at him and said, "boy, look at all balloons, they all have hidrogen inside. Regardless of color, as long as the hidrogen is inside the balloon, the balloon can fly in the sky. I want you to know something, don't be upset or inferior for your appearance/outlook or your family background, as long as you did not do any evil/sin and never make anyone disappoint, you can still do the same thing as like others. Believe in yourself and trust your talent. The world won't stop because you unhappy, the time won't go back or give you extra time if you miss something, we have to learn from past and do better in future.Also, the god won't despise you even you're a dark skin boy, everyone are equivalent, because as long as you're human, our heartbeat are at the same pace.If you can get what I mean, you'll make big deal in future" The boy smile at the old man and bear in mind.

The boy don't inferior and low self-esteem anymore. He study hard and would show himself his talent. He never give up even he once fail.Today he's a chairman in a company of software development in Asia and won alot of awards. Due to his strong determination, peserverance, he finally made it and bring fortune to every corner of the world.

NYP School Life - Part II - Golden Edited Edition

2005-12-25T11:06:00.000+08:00

It was the happy moment for me when I buy christmas gift for almost all my male classmate. Their smilling had melt my lonely at the moment. I bought 7 maple card for Lin Chong, Whay Chuin, Stanlie, Terence, Qizhi, Ding Sheng. Also I bought a special present for Slyvester.

I received christmas present from Pei Jin, Stanlie, Whay Chuin. I was surprised and really happy because this is my first time I receive present from my buddy. Appreciated right from bottom of my heart. Thank you.

I participated chirstmas gift exchange with my female classmate and I am the only guy who participated in it. It's a unique and unforgettable gift exchange activity for me. We draw lot to see who gift is right for you. I receive Noni's present, oh yea! her present just right for me at the right time because my water bottle had spoilt. Thanks Noni. Anan receive my present.

Over almost 2 years I've been with my female classmates, they're quite well to me but I always see they have interior and exterior fighting/ arguement. Girl's have many idea to relax after lesson, eg KBox, Shoping, have meal together and so on. The most meaningful task they have done is they set a promise that whoever's birthday approaching, we would prepare something to birthday boy/girl on the day. On the other side, I hope they won't be too sensitive to any issue towards them, they should think on other side. Don't look at surface cause but another perspective cause. It's good to apply in working in future. Try to solve problem in positive and rational way, when lecturer give anyone of us comment we should listen to it and analyse/ reflect ourself whether we've done wrong or not. Still, they're my elder and have experience more than us.

Mei Yun:
She's one of joker in our class. She's cute when she's in good temper, but looks rebel when being commented. But for my opinion, she can be a good responsible mom and good wife. She can be of good listener and giving advice to if you're close/good with her. She can be considered a mature thinking girl but playful at the right time. The most I attracted is when she wearing skirt to school one day when we all form study group at library. Girl's look far different when they change dress / make up. I love to see her blue color contact lense, cute! The one time she care for me I can sense is when I had problem in wearing contact lense. She checked my eye for me at ELP as if the care of brother and sister or mom and son. That's the only time our close eye contact. She looks a decent girl when we took picture at orchard and the first time we sit very close ever before. I give her 65%

An An:
She's our god of sleep in our class. I once heard that she would fall asleep while she's eating. I don't believe it when someone told me about this. She's full of hope to her future and her requirement of his Mr Right.If you're good/close with her, she can treat you well and tell you some secret. To me, she can be a good and responsible mom and good wife in future. Though girl ahve the right to rely on someone but it's good to learn to be independent. During school holiday, we meet occasionary when we're working in orchard. I'd find her out for meal during her lunch break. We're good talkers to each other. She's actualyl one of pretty girl, I can say it right from bottom of my heart but if willing to change her temple and willing heard advice, she could be a nicer girl than before. I give her 68%

Angela Kok:
We were from same ITE school and today we become classmate. It's fate that brought us to know each other in such a big world. She's a person who can be trust and keep secret. She can keep anyone secret tightly. No one can make her expose anyone's secret. She's a intelligent and very very hardworking girl and good in maths. Though we seldom talk to each other, but our relationship quite ok. I give her 65%

Lay Xuan:
A perfect woman ranked by e8Little guys. She's good in thinking and know what she should do and shouldn't do. She has her own opinion and has her own way to solve problem. She's a hardworking girl because she'll go to work after lesson. She's sincere to every of her friends and worth to be trusted. It'd be great if she can turn out lesson punctually everyday because most fo guys want to see her everyday in school. I give her 69%

Ruby Liang:
Ruby, one of our E8 flower. In my fiction world, she's a little wizard or vampire slayer. She love horoscope researchng and belive in horoscope to apply in her life. She has her unique thinking and less guy can understand her well. I can see that most guys have 'some' imagination on her by her attractive face, I think so...Though we quite seldom talk to each other and I don't really know about her but we could talk funny nonsence sometime.She believe in horoscope very much, but for me what I think, our destine and fate is in our hand but now under control by somebody else, we have to grab chance ourself and create miracle for our own life and believe in ourself, if we put horoscope as part of our life and believe what horoscope will comment us today, aren't we become horoscope puppet to be toyed by them? To search our curiousness, to find answer ourself, to determine our fate ourself but not other.
She won't change her mind even other try to persuade her unless she find it. Sometime she would ask me something to make sure if she's choose the correct way, but she would ask other to confirm again after asking me. This make me feel that I can't be trusted and frustrated. Overall, she's a nice girl and good classmate of E8. I give her 60%

Yvonne:
We came to NYP together, I was actually not belong to E8, but thanks to her encouragement that I request to same class with her. Actually, I once try to persuade her come to my class E7. But luckily I didn't do it because I fall for E8. She's a good and royal and super royal friend. We're very very good friend though we seldom talk to each other but our distance always that close and we have same target in life. She's a good story talker too, I'd seek her advice when I have some life problem and consult her to correct my english. I give her 75%

Pei Jin:
We get to know in NYP.The first expression of her to me is she's an obedient girl. We once have some misunderstanding for a period, but we overcame it in the end. From then, I've concluded that she'll be one of my friend and she's in my buddy list followed by Stanlie and Whay Chuin.
I once help her cousin fix computer. I saw that she KEEP remind her little cousin to use computer and take care of it next time.From then, I see that she has the potential to be a good mother because she has the motherly leadership.
No one can read through what she's thinking about or what she going to do next but she's an intelligent and nice girl.It's worth to be anyone's close friend and trusted friend.

Noni:
My first female malay good friend in Singapore. We had quite alot misunderstanding but it seems never affect our friendship. She's a rightful and sincere friend. She would help anyone of us all she can. She's the one who can rememebr anyone of our birth date and remind us. Overall, she can be considered a friend who worth to be with. I give her 65.5%

Uma:
She's a very friendly india friend of mine. She has confidence and believe in me everytime whatever question she ask me. I don't like to be suspected / doubted or not being trusted since want they have question to me. I'm so glad to have her as my good friend. I'd give her 65.5%

I hope every of my classmate good in health. The only to bring them happy is not buying them present / branded or material. Because the branded thing could be outdated one day, material/thing would broken one day. The only thing which is last forever is my bless to them to be happy always forever. Hence, I hope some of my classmate not to be materialistic human but be a sincere and rightful person and truly to each other. Life is short, It's fate that brought us to form E8 today, we may never be together in our next life, be treasure everything you have now and whoever beside you.

Though one day we may lost contact, but as long as we believe in each other, we'll live in heard to each other. Because believe in believe; believe what you believe, the dreams would come true.

NYP School Life - Part I

2005-12-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 2 years I've been studying in NYP since graduated from ITE in 2004.Times really never forgive people but I appreciated that god has been fair to us, because regardless of race, language or religion, everybody has same 24hours per day to use and though we're from different countries, schools but our heart beats are the same pulse that ties us together heart by heart.

Class E8 is my class I've been with them and survive till today. Though in-between days we had fighting, arguement, hatred but our laught and happy had overlap those ugly side.

Standing in guys side in our class, though we're almost slackers and talk nonsence all the time, but we never have a true fighting before and never hold grudges against each other.

Cher Whay Chuin - One of my close buddy. He always bring us laugh in our class to make us happy but talk nonsence. He always said he don't know anything in study but in the end, he can brush up very quickly and faster everyone of us. Maybe this is his talent.

Stanlie Lee - One of my close buddy. He's the second who can make jokes in the class and one of top student in our class. Both of them are similar. They can make it in the end and better than us in the end. But he has mature side when he's approach to me to tell me something about him and his feeling.

Liow Lin Chong - My best friend and buddy. I love to approach to him when I have question as well as in study or out of study matter as in relationship and talka bout life and IT stuff. A good talker tot talk to. Maybe I'm younger than him and more mature than me, hence most of the time, I'd heed his advice as my senior.

Yew Ding Sheng - Our brain of E8. He's one of our top study in our class. He's intelligent. He always want to surpass his limitation in study ut of sudden. His spirit of never give up anything is worth of us to learn.

Qi Zhi, Terence, Slyvester - Three of them are our class coolest people. They are also one fo my best friend. They are friendly, when I need help, they would sure come and help me and give me advice and guide me how to improve my english.

Aizat - Though we seldom have chat, but we're good friends and would greet to each other everytime meet in school. He'd come to me to ask fro help when he think I can give him help. He's one of good joker too! and I see that Mei Yun like to stick to him as 'brother'.

Actually, I am happy to have them beside me as my friend. But how long can we be together? 3 years? or forever? I've been experience before. I have many close friend but apart in the end due to go to different place after graduate and lost contact. The worst is I forgot some of them. My memory had poorer than before ever since an incident 2 years ago... No one can accompany me all the time, hence I'd blog them down so it could resemble me something and somebody when ... I treasure this friendship alot but I don't know how to express my feeling to them. Whem I am alone, at least there's some laugh I could find and read from my blog.

Maybe I misunderstood between love and the love of brother and sister. Looking at her happy with her friends, I'm elated for that because she's found her true friends.

I prefer to see my classmate happy rather than sad because it would amke me feel down too. I prefer to bear the miserable alone for them in order to see my people happy around me. But when I want to say something, why no one listen to me or at least consider my idea? I once tried to give up everything but the more I get understanding them, the more I can leave them, because this is true friendship. Sometimes, I feel that they have prejudice against me or refuse come to me, am I done something wrong?

I'll stop my blog for more than two weeks due to I'll go back to Malaysia for one week to visit my old friends and celebrate with them. I miss them and had never see them for more than 1 years. Everytime I said I would go back and see them but I have no enough time to meet them.

My last blog will be next friday. Because I want to blog down the day...

I'll conclude my NYP life in Part II soon...

Walk on the past

2005-12-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today is tuesday and have no lesson today. I woke up early in order to meet peijin at compass point... compass point... It's been almost 1 1/2 years I never been there for some reason.
When I reach and walk out from there, everything very similar and same in my ROM memory. Everything as if just happen not long ago, but it's been almost 4 years...

We took bus 119 to her relative home to fix the computer. Around 12pm, we went to compass point shopping. First, we went to library on 4th floor. NLB, a place we were once study together, a place where we were once had a happy time together. We walk on the same step, same path which I walk 2 eyars ago. We went to comic shop a while, Peijin want to look her stuff.Next, we went into Sembawang CD shop, It a place again where we were once here doing some illegal thing. She will record down all her favourite song and ask me to download for her.

We pass by food court. I looked inside, everything still the same, never change. A place where we were once have meal together everyday, everyday i send her home. Also, a place I first time cook spaghetti for her lunch. We went to popular shop. Why every place is the place we were once go there before and are by sequence? It's a place where we were once reading free magazine after meal and bought her a cd. Everything storre in my memory and appear again today.

I bear my tears not to drop out very miserably...

We head off to Plaza Singapura and went to Long John Silver have meal before meeting Qi Zhi and watched "Happy Potter and Gablet of Fire" together, It was fantastic movie. After movie, I once tell her I may go to Bugis look for something. But later on I think it's late already for her. But she keep want go there with me. Qi Zhi have to accompany us to go then. I wonder why PeiJin so ebergetic today... hm...

We reach City Hall mrt. I suggest go to Funan IT Mall to shop. On the way, Qi Zhi ask us a favour. Argh, PeiJin shouldn't ask him out today, haha...

I enjoyed today. Thanks Peijin, Qizhi....

I want to record down what interesting had happen on me on the day in my blog. and mention about my close friends name here. I want to remember all of them. I don't know if one day... one day I lost my memory...

A Tragedy Love Story

2005-12-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

There's a guy called Mr A; there's a girl called Miss B. They falled to each other. Mr A is a quiet guy and lack of confidence to express his feeling while Miss B is talkative girl.

Everyday Mr A send Miss B home, they enjoy walking from school her home. On the way home, they had a happy chat. One day, when miss B reach home, he ask mr A if he love her and want to tell her. But the guy very quiet and just give her a small bear and walk off. Miss B hold the first present from him and looking at his back. Though she never hear that his mr A tell her he love her but she feel evry happiness to have him.

Few months later, miss B ask mr A again to say "I Love You" to her.Mr A still keep quiet and give her a small bear and smile at her. At the moment, miss B fed up and tell mr A "If you love me, please tell me that you love me, it's just 3 simple words, can;t you open your mouth to say? I don't ask much thing from you!" Miss B walked off angrily and throwed away the bear from her mr A that day. Mr A felt sad and reflect himself.

The next day, Mr A still stand at school front door waiting for her and send her home. The another bear still on his hand and prepare to give her again. About an hour later, he can;t ait her. He think that she must be angry at him and walk off on another way and don;t wait for him.

Mr A began nervous and ran off to miss B home rushly. On the way he's running to look for miss B. He found her, mr A found miss B finally, just opposite road side. Miss A stand still there and look at him sadly. When the guy decided speak out the three words to make her happy, a lorry passed by and sound loudly at the moment the guy want to say out. The girl can't hear and walk off. Mr A never give up and want to go nearer to tell her again. He didn't notice he's on the middle road. Boom!!.....
A loud sound suddenly wakes miss B up and her heart beats very fast suddenly. She turn back to look. Mr B lying down on the road and blood bleeding out... Miss B run to him and hug him. She saw a tear drop down from mr A and hand him a bear ... Mr A passed away.... Miss A hug him and beg mr A don't leave her alone, she's crying...

No matter how many tears she sacrifice is unable to exchange mr A's life.

Miss A lock herself in her room and crying on her bed. She suddenly felt very lonely and no one were beside her. Her parents went to Canada to work. There's only 364 bears around her and one more she accepted from him today in an accident. The moment she think back, she cry over him and hug all her bear tightly. "I love you.....I love you....I love you....." Sounds come around her, she then found out that when she press her every bear, it would say "I Love you".. and the sound was record from mr A.

The girl then realize that because of her stubborn and keep forcing him to say that cause what had happend today. She's regret and cry sadly, but can mr A hear? Actually, mr A was long wanted to tell her "I love you" right from the start but he dare not to, so he decided record his sound in the bear. From here, we can clearly see that, the guy love her for over 365 days...

She lost him....she can do anything. She cried sadly , regretly, lonely...

There's many thing, event are arranged for us, we can never force it. When it will come, it will come. I'm awaiting for my miss B coming, and you? If you found, please cheerish and treasure she/her. Let everything go by nature and enjoy whatever you have. Be brave to do whatever you want to do, if not we may not ahve chance to do the net second...

The Love of the ring - ITE - Compass Point - Hougang Point

2005-12-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

After maths equiz and had breakfast with them. I went to library to read some books as I have 2 hours break. I felt tired and sleepy after 45min and took a nap. I dream of my past, my ITE and her. Although I was dreaming but the hurt still pierce my heart cruelly. By the time i awake, it was 11.50am and I then go off for my next lesson. On my way to attend lesson, my mind keep surrounding by what happen on my dream just now that makes me frustrated and vex...

During network lecture, I still think of the dream... I tried not to think of my past again because it will makes me feel down again. I keep quiet sitting with my close friend and keep writting notes so as to make myself busy and not to think other thing.

During innovation lesson, I can't concentrate whatever the lecturer talking and feeling dizzy. At the moment I took a break and drink water, I saw my lecturer wear the ring on his hand, this reminds me and bring me back to my past memory again...

We were very happy when we study in ITE and can eb said that we're the apple eye in every teacher's eye.I sent her home everyday and have dinner together in compass point. Also we study together in compass point together. Also the place where my best teacher found out that we're together when I hold her hands go to bus stop to send her home. He was very happy for me and told me not to neglect study. I promised him of course.

She had quarrel with her sister-in-law and hence decided move out to live with her sister in hougang. I keep accompany her when she needs me the most. Fromt eh day onwards, Houhang point is the place where I go frequently to ahve meal with her and dating. We gave promised to each other over there and take care of her all my life. The love of the ring on our hands to put for each other as if the god giving us bless and my promise to her. She hug at me and thanks to me all the while been with her, I reply to her and said "Silly girl, doesn't it need to thanks to? It's not the point to thanks but I promised you...I promised you I'll take care of you and give u a happiness family for you and for me" At the moment, the time stopped because the moment belongs to us only...

We love each other truly as if all the birds flying and singing for us to give us bless. For her, I sacrifice my rest time and wake up very eacly to go to her place and took a big round way to school to make revision for her test on bus.

We both made a surprise to teachers that we become first year top student and hence we're foreign student. My best teacher was very happy for me and he's been giving me many chance to let me take part in heavy competitions.

I won quite number of awards and thanks for my best teacher. Due to coming to second year, my study became more heavy and also prepare for another competition at the same time. My time had shorten the time with her and I ahve to stay back in school to do project and preparation for competitoon everyday including weekend.Before final year exam, we seldom meet each other or even talk for months, but we do still send message to each other.

After final exam, I feel so relax because i accomplish my role study in ITE. By the time my most important day is approaching, 21th birthday. On the morning of my birthday, i give her a call and decided to bring her back to my malaysia home with my family. As I tell her the good news, she told me.....she told me to break up. My mind became blank and stand still beside the phone and lots of question mark on my mind. She didn't gave me a reason and hang up the phone. I tried to call her back, she turn off her handphone.

I don't know, I don't know what happen. I lost controlled and cried in my room. This is the first time I cried for a girl after for my mom. I was very sad for a long period.My parents saw me in this state also feel sad for me because they though they going to have a son-in-law, everything disappear just in second, just a phone call. I did not have mood to cut my 21th birthday cake, my tears lose control again that drop on the cake, I felt really depress...my parents ask me at least eat some. After that, I went back to my room...lying on bed...I can't think of anything and my mind only her appearance and tears...This is the first time I saw myself that I'm actually ahve the side of weak and helpless, no one beside me, only lonely.

After a few days, she gave me a call. We had a talk on phone. She told me she had another guy to be with and the one who can accompany her all the time. Should I be angry? should I blame on myself for my wrong? Should I blame on her for not giving me a chance to explain why I did not ahve time with her for months? Should I giving her bless? Looking her backside going off with another guy, who can understand my feeling? Who had experienced a sad 21th birthday?

It's been 2 years, but everything, every moment of me and her still store in my memory consistency. I once committed suicide in school but my friend stop me and save my life, I lose control in school again. He brough me to see my best teacher immediately because he know my best teacher dotes on me the most and will ahve a way to help me. This is the first time that my teacher saw me crying , a sad face. He understand me the most, he once saw me happy, and the day he saw the side of being sad. He council me and told me his past story. He wants me to stand up and carry on on my life to find my own hapiness again but not end my life just because of girl. Though I still remember what he todl me, but I can't make it at the moment. After that, he brought me to canteen and treat me a meal. We both have meal together quietly but I really have no appetite and still think of her because I cried again... My teacher saw me in this state, and todl me a word to wake me up.

"Alan!... Alan! Please be strong! this is not the end yet and be brave to face the fact! You have many more things to do ahead and persue my study in poly! didnt you promise me that you want prove to me that you want work in Microsoft with Bill Gates? are all the things you forgotten? My heart really feel pain seeing you in this state now, please don't torture yourself and ahve you meal."

The words spoken out from him wakes my mind up, though I really can;t eat but I force myself eat it. Teacher seeing my finally eating, he then relax and I dare not looking at him face to face, I don't know why, I feel that his tears drop out that warm my heart and I feel mroe sad to make him worry for me...

Coming to polytechnic, everytime we celebrate any of our classmate's birthday, I'd always pray for them that they will have a happy birthday every year but don't be like me...

Everytime I saw couple sit close together and holding hands together, hug each other. I feel happy for them because they ahve foudn their happiness but I feeling down because...

"God, I've learnt a lesson and I've changed. Could you give me a chance?" I always telling god that giving me chance, I once falled for a girl in poly but...

Doesn't someone who done wrong won't have chance to amend their mistake ? I don't want to be alone again, I hate to be alone! I'm scared of being lonely...

Life still have to go on, earth won't stop rotate because of someone left us, Sun still arise after night. I always tell myself not to think my past, what's past is past, nothig can change and be happy to go on my life and hope to find another her who I can give her my promise and take care of her all my life and give her a happy family...Do I have tomorrow?

Learn to be independent - Not to rely on anyone

2005-12-06T13:39:00.000+08:00

I'll remember another irresponsible lecturer which won't teach me at all and never want to guide me and point out my error. I've followed the instruction based on lab instruction but i couldn't make it for the last step and yet he refuse to point my error or guide me. Hence this makes me disgust towards him and had been record in my top 5 rank of disgusting lecturer.

I'll learn to be independent and don't ask more question to any lecturer especially the disgusting lecturer.

Why everyone never/refuse listen to my idea or because they have no confidence in me? Why she seldom/never talk to me only when she need my help? Why there are only two of my close friend aware opf my existence? Why somebody don't want direct come to me to ask for help instead ask someone else to come to me? Why do I have so many question mark in my brain to all these problem and yet I can't find somebody to talk to only choose writing here to let myself listen to myself?

The most thing which amke me disgusting is the lecturer who even refuse to point out my error / guide me. May he'll get what he'll get in return to let him knwo the feeling. But it also thanks to him that I seen through on something and learn to be independent. He's one of disgusting lecturer in NYP.

Happy meal with my close friends

2005-12-02T22:17:00.000+08:00

After my C++ lesson around 4pm, I suggest go to Sim Lim Square have a walk and also look for some IT stuff with my classmates. In fact my purpose is that I want to accompany one of my close buddy that he need someone beside him have talk to forget some unhappy thing. I can understand how he feel because i walkthrough what he experience today.

We enjoyed while we shopping and as if we throwed away all unhappy thing behind us. Around 7pm , they want have sushi dinner. This is the unforgetable happy meal with my close friend.

This is the perfect moment we together having meal and talk our feeling face to face as our distance getting closer and closer than ever before. Though you think you failed this time, but don't give up because I'll always support you.

After meal, we accidently met MeiYun on Bugis street. ahya! what a coincidence and what a small world this is. She dressed different today compare how she dress in school, hm... look different and more prettier.

Although today some of my clsoe friend didn't turn out but I'm elated what I had now and give him my support. May he happy always and friends always.

A Good Lesson for TransparentC

2005-11-24T21:37:00.000+08:00

Today is just a good lesson for me and it's also an unforgetable experience for me.
I was though of today lesson start at 8am and I almost late for lesson. By the time i rush myself to put on contact lens, I accidently drop it inside my eye, I got panick and wonder if it'll affect my eye sight or not. I ask two of my classmate Mei Yun and Pei Jin if they encounter this problem before or not, to bad they never. If that's the case, aren't I veyr funny that i face this problem?

Later on i asked my niece if she got any solution. Around 10am, my niece took me to a specs shop to check and the people todl me that no found and would probably drop out already. Hm.. I was still in curious and wondering.

Later on, I went to her house to do my statement of absense.

Back to this point, i find that my female classmate care for me quite some actually. hahha or it's just my imagination or I think too much, but no matter what, I love my classmates especially...

TransparentC Fall Down

2005-11-23T17:37:00.000+08:00

It's been quite a long time that I never fall sick. Never did i expect that I finally fall down and have to take one day off.

When I was on the way to school and reached AMK interchange, i feel that i can't stand anymore and feeling dizzy. I ride back on bus to go back and consult a doctor for treatment and medicine and of course the most important things - Medical Certificate!

Maybe due to I didn't sleep last night till morning to do my project and played maple story for a while. Hm... my body finally can't take it and falled down.

My brother and I bought a watch for my dad's birthday present. I can see that he's surprised and happy that he receive first precious birthday present from his sons. I pray for him always in good health and happy always.

Alan Yeo and the Dream of Secret

2005-11-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

I had a long hour mapling starting from last night 11pm till this mroning 8.30am non-stop. It was fantasting and I dont feel tired at all so far. Its unbelieveable that I was the one who don't play game at all but addicted to maple story that crazy today.

I had 2 hours lunch break and my friend, Qi ZHi asked me go outside play maple story again, I said yes and follow mapling, laugh out laugh~~~

When i reach home around 10pm+, I saw there's a delicious dinner on the table and saw a birthday cake in refrigerator. Hm...doesn't my dad's birthday next week? When i ask my dad and he todl me that he's celebrating in chinese calendar. Argh..... I'm thinking of asking my brother going out to buy a birthday present for my dad.

I had a deep thinking of about what i dreamed of yesterday after play maple story. NO one would believe that I had this kidn of dream. I dreamed of i ran into maple world and play maple and I act as one of new character. I was a flying knight that I can flying and my job is to kill those flying dragon monster. How wonderful and real of it. But how many people would believe what I'm ging to say next?.....

During school holiday, I started practice programming language, C++ and trying to solve every question that came out from my mind. On the night, I dreamed that I ran into machine world and I talked to machine code!!!!!!!! We were discussing about the my own style coding and I gained alot experience from machine code. Though I can't see what the machine outlook but I really talk to machine about my own style code in the machine world~

Along the way till today, my wish is to get into Microsoft to be involve in Operating system development and be the first chiense involve int he project, but would the day be coming? or I'm just daydreaming.

Lonely Day

2005-11-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

Today is saturday. I woke up in the morning and played game. it was about 12pm i went out shopping and bought a phone adapter which enable for calling at low rates. Its cool though its chargable but lower than telephone rate charge.

I wonder what am i doing here and thinking of. I have no target for my life or what I'd do next. What job i'll find once i graduate or if i can really getinto local U? I must washbrain myself to wash away my past and...her. I doubt if i can and if i can i'd made it 2 years ago...

I really hope someone would beside me and go together everlasting as company and take care of her, would the day coming? Even the next second is the world end, as logn as the next second is not reach yet, that is not the truth, the truth only is that i know my mistake, please forgive me and come back to me...

Abstract Happy

2005-11-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

After lesson at 4pm today, some of us of QiZhi, Whay Chuin, Anan, Angela, MeiYun, Taryn and her boyfriend took christmas picture on Orchard but before that we went to a shop have some snacks and took some picture there. Oh man, this is my first time took picture together with MeiYun, Its just such a happy feeling.

My brother will get married with his girlfriend for almost 8 years. I'm happy for them and yet i'm still a single and keen to have someone who i can love and take care of and form a happy family. There's something we can't force. When its really come, no one can escape. I'll sure treasure and won't let it go behind me if "she" comes to me one day.

Taryn's boyfriend really a "funny-maker" that always have many jokes to tell us that made us laugh all the way.

Oh yea, i'm so happy that my friend praised for the christmas decoration on CK Tang@Orchard becoz i'm one of them who involved to do it. My dad would be happy if he heard this.

This year my wish is to ahve a peace and happy family with no fight argument and a lonely guy who awaiting for his Miss Right appear....

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

2005-11-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

It's much less people attending for math tutorial lesson this morning. We had a 2 hrs chat at south canteen till 12pm. During Network lesson i then found out that today is Yvonne's birthday. I gave her my deepest and sincere birthday greets to her.

After end of today's lesson, Whay Chuin, Stanlie and me go to Bishan shopping. I bought a story book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" Its me first time buy a story book. They laughed at me and wonder if i'm serious to buy this story book. My purpose is to nurture reading hobby and at the same time to improve my english.

I still can't really get over her out of my mind and i wonder if we meet in school accidently, what a awkward scene! But i choose to be brave to face every problem because avoiding problem is not the ebst solution to solve problem. I should be rational to face problem and solve it on my own.

Its abit funny that Ruby , Whay Chuin and me talked about others behind them, like a couple played "Kissing Game" at the canteen and sat in lecture hall today. I sat with Whay Chuin, then i told him that our row got a couple sit together and we sit together means what? Gay? :-)

I'd feel abit happy when i talk with Whay Chuin and Stanlie, with their voice that wash away my sadness in my mind. I hope our friendship and Ding Sheng will be forever as well as with my classmate.

I sat with Anan during network lesson today. When i turned my head and looked at her, she's sleeping! I then look at her deeply, how cute she is, her head keep turning "goyang goyang", hm... one of our E8 cute girl.

Unexpected Sadness

2005-11-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

Today is Wednesday.After lesson, i accompany my close friend go to Bishan have meal though some of my cloase friend didnt turn up but we did enjoyed the meal and eventhough the meal not delicious....

After reached home, i took a nap after sufring a while. There's a argue fighting awake me up. They quarrel again. Why must my mom promised me not to rake all past thing up again but again today? I'm disappointed to my family and wonder when my family will broken up. Would i be orphan then? I worked with my dad during school holiday and i can see that he's really work hard and tough in working and yet she still always suspect that he has an affair outside. What's the reason being together for a couple? It fate that brought them together and with trust and faithful to each other forever to maintain this family in happy condition.

She rejected me last night on msn and she said cruelly and emphasized a sentence to me "no chance". My heart just like being pierce through it by a spear. Its pain and no one were beside me....I never been really happy from bottom of my heart for two years, must i carry on this kind of life?

First Love

2005-11-15T16:45:00.000+08:00

Do you think the one you love today is the one you love the most? I'd say that he/she is not the one I love the most but is the one i love now.

The one i love the most was my ex-girlfriend. We once vowed to be together forever and plan for future and even plan how many children we're going to have. The ring i put on her finger was my promise to her and love her forever.

We broken off for 2 years and i've yet forgotten her totally. Maybe she hurt me deeply once? or because she's my first love and so i hardly forget her? But what i know is that i've awaken and know that she is my past, my history. I should be more mature and rational to handle my next awiting relationship and treasure "her"...

Until i come to poly, i met a girl. She looks a foreign student and from Malaysia. But in fact she's Singaporean. To me though she's not really pretty but her impression gave me a big heart beat when i saw her. She abit cute but mature and attractive. Undeniable, in my heart, she's the perfect and the prettiest angel.

Under unexpect coincidence, we get to know each other and became friends. I dare not express my feeling towards her to her.I'm afraid it may affect our friendship. So I keep it in mind...

I still remember and it's just happened not long ago, I asked her out and hold her hands and tell her "I like you very long ago, Ma..." She smiled at me and accepted me. At the time we hug together, I feel that i found back the real happy i used to have two years ago. I though everything this is real and finally found my love and a phone ringing out from my ear. When i open my eyes, i realize that this is just my dream. Would this happen to me or this will only be happen in my dream? I've never feel the real happy every since my-ex left me 2 years ago. What i can say now is I truly like you right from the start, Ma....